When I started school 2 months ago, the reading from my History of Photography class made me cry. I couldn't understand a word. It was like reading another language. If I didn't take detailed notes, I couldn't even remember the subject matter after I finished reading.Today I sat at my computer all day and wrote my midterm paper.
I can't believe the subject I chose - I must be completely out of my mind! My paper was on C.G. Jung's Theory of the shadow as expressed in 19th Century photography. Yes, I am sure I have lost my mind, why did I ever pick such an obscure and academic subject. What's worse, I actually enjoyed it!
And I actually think I wrote a pretty interesting paper. At least I was interested in it. But then that's not really the point is it?
Or maybe it is, if I want to become one of those totally self referential artists like Moyra Davey, the photographer who talked to us on Thursday. But I don't. In fact she is the type of artist that makes me hate art. Her talk, her movie in particular, struck me as a personal conversation with herself that excluded the rest of us. I couldn't relate.
OK - I am ashamed to be so snobby about the whole thing. Just cause I didn't like her work, is there any reason to be offended? Yes, goddammit there is. There's too much going on in the world for me to watch somebody blowing dust off their books in slow motion and take it too seriously. It gave me asthma. I think it is an example of why the Art World is so often a closed circle that excludes anyone who is outside of itself. It pisses me off.
OK, ok, I have no right to have this attitude. It is my shadow self coming out! The part I try to suppress with my open-mind, give-everybody-the benefit-of-the-doubt approach. And I really did get alot out of it - like the way she grouped her photographs together on the wall of the Fog - if only they had been about something.... oh God, here I go again. I hope she doesn't see this....
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